Saturday, September 25, 2010

Things Left Unsaid: My Missed Wallace Wells Moment

Him: "So, yeah, she's been in a lot of relationships/trouble and I know the (14-16 year old girls) I keep dating are a mess but they have what I want..."

Me: "Non-existant Self-esteem, a willingness to put up with your bullshit 'cause "we're IN LOVE" so a breakup is the end of the world, and no idea what an adult penis is actually supposed to look like?"

For clarification, this one's in the ballpark of a decade and a half old before you start wondering.

God I wish I called him better on his shit at the time instead of just my usual 'why don't you try something more your age' passive aggressive posture; I'd find out through the grapevine away at college later that that one in particular cost him a large sum of money. Not just on booze and cigarettes either... This is one of the downsides to the teenaged "guy code" where you're not supposed to say jack to stress the group; just smile, wave, and then grumble behind their back as your friend continuously does something idiotic that's going to backfire on him sooner or later. Also, if you think I'm quiet, non-confrontational and shy by default now... yeah... you should've seen me 18-20 when I'd just spent 12 years trying to be invisible at school for various reasons. I must admit though, I was surprised at the number of Catholic parents who frequently just shrugged at the 18-20 year old "dating" their barely consent-legal at the time daughters or rolled over when they threw hissy fits about it or made silly little concessions - "Oh, yeah, I'll be in by curfew!!!". Mind you, it probably didn't hurt that he stood about 5'7 and could pass for 15.

The only "good" thing that came out of being around those "relationships" during my first couple of College summer breaks, if you want to call it that, was that the shit that went on on both sides taught me pretty much every reason why I'd no more interest in playing in that particular pool and weaned me completely off teenage girls in favour of something more... mature and less dramatic maybe? Seriously: I never, ever, again want to have to go get a girl's friends from the TV room to mop up after I've talked her down - one of the few times my being notoriously easy to talk to has been a blessing - 'cause they've been drinking, he's played the "Fine, it's over card" to try and trump the screaming fight she started when they went to bed because he was seen talking to an Ex the night before, and I'm the only one who spotted her running through the kitchen to the back deck while grabbing a knife from the block and pondering the end of the world after the GF's all just shrugged, said: "here we go again" and went back to the movie at the screamed "NOOOO" for apparently the 100'th time. Meanwhile, he's still laying in her bedroom for her to roll over on the issue and come back to bed - which she does once the GF's are done with her...

Yes, I did say "her bedroom". This is all happening at her house where the parents have left the establishment and her 10 year old sister in the hands of her and her one year older friends - one of whom is technically "babysitting" for the night while they're out of town.

Pick your own "kicker" in that story.

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